One of the hardest parts of the Enneagram is finding your Type--Nine Types with 54 combinations can create a lot of confusion and lead to mistyping. If you are unsure which Type you are between Type Five and Type Six, read on for ways to clarify your true Type.
Why Are These Types Mistyped? Because Both Types Can Be:
Analytical Thinkers and Knowledge Seekers
Both Type Five and Type Six are members of the Head Triad and use their minds and analytical abilities to initially process information and find ways to keep themselves safe in an unsafe world. With this emphasis on mental processing, both Types also share the tendency to overthinking and anxiety that results in making mountains out of mole hills (Sevens--another member of the Head Triad--share this tendency though they hide it better). Sixes, being part of the Compliant Triad (described below) are more likely to think in linear ways and use their amazing analytical abilities to adhere to norms, rules, and expectations. Fives, on the other hand are part of the Withdrawn Triad which means that they are more likely to detach from others and expectations and retreat to their heads to analyze and fabricate solutions that are outside-the-box and outside-the-norm (even to the point of iconoclastic). Furthermore, Fives differ from Sixes in that they are likely to seek out information for the joy of learning and to create competency in specific areas (this competency ultimately resulting in a Five feeling safe) whereas Sixes are more likely to use information as a means of planning and preparing.
Preoccupied with Safety and Security
Being that both Types are in the Head Triad, not only do the share a method of processing information, but also a preoccupation with safety and security, which stems from a core belief that the world is an unsafe place. Fives, who are more comfortable admitting to being motivated by fear and anxiety, believe that they are likely to be overwhelmed by this unsafe world and so withdraw into themselves to a world that has all they need. From this place of isolation, the Five commits to only trusting themselves to find the true source of safety in this world and cuts themselves off from others and any extraneous needs. Sixes, on the other hand, are less likely to admit that they are motivated to find safety out of fear and have less trust in themselves to make decisions that could lead to themselves to safety (Sixes will say they are just preparing or planning, but that fear and anxiety does not motivate these thorough preparations). This distrust in themselves leads to Sixes attempting to find outside sources of support in their lives. This search for trustworthy support causes some inner struggle for Sixes since they also are keen on keeping their independence.
Issues Around Trusting Others
Since the world is an unsafe place according Fives and Sixes, they will work hard to find avenues where safety and security can be developed and fostered. Fives, in an attempt to avoid overwhelm from the outside world, will hoard their resources (time, money, and personal information) and will see intrusions or taxes on these resources as an affront to their safety. In that way, they do not readily trust others and will quickly cut themselves off from relationships if they prove to be untrustworthy (for example, sharing a Five's private information to others). A Six's struggle to trust others stems from their attempts to find a trustworthy enough support source that the Six can outsource all their decision making to. With this impossible task ahead of them, Sixes constantly test and question a person's authenticity, trustworthiness, and integrity since this could be the difference of being supported and being blindsided and left without support.
How Are These Types Different?
Rejection Type vs. Attachment Type (Object Relations Triad):
How Their First Relationships Shaped Them:
Looking at Types from a stance of Object Relations can provide a lot of clarity to the meaning behind some of the characteristics we see as similar between Types.
Type Five: Rejection Type | Type Six: Attachment Type |
What Does "Rejection Type" Mean? When the Type Five's ego was developing they did not feel that their needs were met by either the Nurturing Function (the function that "sees" and mirrors the child) or the Protective Function (the function that helps the child individuate and supports them out in the world). After the initial frustration at not having needs met, the Five ultimately rejected their own needs in these areas and internalized the message that there was something inherently deficient in themselves that requires extra payment (in the form of offering special service only the Five can give) in order to gain belonging in the group. The payment or gift that Fives choose to give to others in exchange for belonging is their keen observation, intelligence, and ability to figure things out. Without the ability to give this gift, Fives feel that they do not have a place with others.
How Does This Shape Their Current Relationships? Type Fives felt deep rejection due to their needs and so self-reject their own needs to avoid these feelings from occurring again. As a result, Fives will frequently minimize what they need and what they require from others and life to survive. This cutting off of needs that caused pain can also extend to relationships with others (for all Rejection Types (Twos, Fives, and Eights), an abrupt break from others after a breach is not uncommon), which further isolates the Five. Of course, this disconnection from others isn't true happiness for the Five, but a means of avoiding the feeling of rejection that was so painful to them as a child. As with all Rejection Types, rejecting the Five's offering of intelligence and observation can cause intense feelings of rejection in the Five since they see this as their one avenue to connecting and belonging.
| What Does "Attachment Type" Mean? When the Type Six's ego was developing, they felt seen to a degree by the Nurturing function, but they felt under-supported by the Protective function, which is tasked with helping the child separate from the Nurturing function by providing guidance, support, and "how-to" knowledge. Unlike other Object Relations Types, Type Sixes took this "miss" as an indication of something wrong with themselves that required them to change in order to receive the support that they needed. Believing that they are unlikely to survive without outside support and guidance, the Type Six decided to pursue only the things that they felt supported in, which sometimes resulted in them pursuing things in which they didn't necessarily have much interest. How Does This Shape Their Current Relationships? Because Type Sixes feel that they must only pursue the areas of life that will be supported by external factors, they will frequently spin their internal wheels trying to figure out where this support lies. They will talk about "not knowing" what they want and being unsure of what they think, when in reality what they "don't know" is if they will be supported if they choose what they want (of course, most of the "not knowing" is a result of a deep distrust of their own ability to support themselves, know themselves, and make decisions). Sixes search for an external, trustworthy source of support by testing and questioning those in their circle and who have authority in their lives to see if they will really support them (especially if danger arises). |
Withdrawn Type vs. Compliant Type (Hornevian Triads): How Types Get Their Needs Met and Relate to Others' Expectations:
Type Five: Withdrawn Type | Type Six: Compliant Type |
What Does "Withdrawn Type" Mean? Type Fives see the outside world as overwhelming and unsafe and so move away from others and expectations to fulfill their need of finding safety and support. Though physically present with others, Fives will frequently retreat into their heads where they can find the comfort and safety of a world that is manageable, understandable, protected from intrusion, and ideally safe. This "away" energy allows Fives to detach from the norms and expectations of others to gain clarity through observation from a safe distance, though it can also result in detaching from real life and any real action in effort to solving issues. | What Does "Compliant Type" Mean? Type Sixes also see the outside world as unsafe, but they combat their feelings of anxiety by working to meet (or work with) others' expectations of them in order to gain the support they feel they need from others. In this light, Sixes will experience expectations as a means of earning the security they ultimately desire. Though they may test and question authority (almost compulsively), they will ultimately comply with the authority, norms, and expectations of a system in order to remain in the fold and under the authority's protection. Being connected with the outside source of expectations allows the Six to apply their thinking toward planning and preparing over simply gaining knowledge. |
Logical Type vs. Reactive Type: How Types Cope When They Don't Get What They Want
Type Five: Logical Type | Type Six: Reactive Type |
What Does "Logical Type" Mean? When the Type Five is unable to get what they want from a situation, the will first attempt to find a solution by using cool-headed, objective logic. They will detach from their emotions (to be processed later), distance themselves from interpersonal drama, and use their keen (and sometimes ruthless) observational skills to find the true source of stress and figure out a creative solution. During this time, Fives will look to have time to think and will emphasize their role as the expert in the solution. Minimizing emotions may come in handy for some situations, but can result in a cold treatment of the situation that over-emphasizes solutions over interpersonal feelings. | What Does Reactive Type Mean? When the Type Six does not get what they want from a situation, they will react strongly to the situation (usually with intensity and passion) and will try to demand or provoke a similar response in others. Trying to "call out into the room" the issues at hand is a common value held by all members of the Reactive Types (Fours and Eights share the Triad with Sixes) in attempts to discover the true problem and come to solutions quickly. Sixes, in particular, will attempt to test others (especially sources of support) for trustworthiness and try to both maintain their current support while also proving their independence and immunity to exploitation. |
Helpful Typing Questions:
Ask "Why", "What Does It Mean", "How Would You Feel", and "What Would Happen"
Asking these questions in regards to any characteristics that a person claims as the reason for choosing their Type will help them gain a layer of clarity on the motivation behind the behavior.
Question: When something happens that requires a solution, how to you approach the situation? When does action take place in this process?
Answer Hint: Both Types, being in the Thinking Center, will likely start the process by thinking through solutions to the process. However, Type Fives are more likely to let observation stand as its own process than Type Sixes who will move to planning, preparing, acting quickly.
Question: What would make someone untrustworthy in your eyes?
Answer Hint: Listen for answers that hint at someone being intrusive (either with space, time, resources, or information) (Type Five) versus someone being inauthentic and misusing power (Type Six).
Ask Questions That Clarify Their Triad:
Asking for reactions based on the Type's Triads can also give a lot of clarity based on how they act in certain situation:
Question (Rejection vs. Attachment):
Question: How do you feel about gaining support from others? Does it feel critical to your survival?
Answer Hint? Listen for answers that indicate a high level of need for support (Type Six) versus an ambivalent and even rejection of help from others (Type Five). Note: this rejection stems from a rejection of needs that Fives have for themselves and not from a feeling of superiority.
Question (Withdrawn vs. Compliant):
Question: Where do you feel you will be able to gain the best sense of support and security? In yourself or in the support of others?
Answer Hint: Listen for answers that indicate a detaching, moving away, and disconnecting (Type Five) versus answers that indicate a level of complying with expectations, working with others, and connecting.
Question (Logical vs. Reactive): When something doesn't meet your expectation, what do you do?
Answer Hint: Listen for answers that indicate keeping a cool head and applying logic (Type Five) compared to answers that indicate a need to express oneself and the issues they have with the situation before moving to solutions (Type Six)
For Typing help, questions, or to schedule a personal coaching session, email Kimberly at enneagramreflections@gmail.com
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